


Westeros University Confessions

by WeirdDaydreamingFangirl



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Facebook AU, Fluff, Humor, Modern Westeros, ONLINE POST FORMAT AND NOT NARRATIVE FORMAT, Online Posts, Ugh, what is tagging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-19 18:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11318841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl/pseuds/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl
Summary: The Online Story of Ms. Sapphire and BBQ-slayer





	1. NOTHING IS FREE

**Author's Note:**

> I know. I know. I’m shit at multi-chapters. This wasn’t supposed to be a multi-chapter originally. This legit happened on a confession page in my school and so far, it had like 4 posts but maybe I’ll make it longer based on the feedback you guys give and I have a feeling this will stray from its inspiration.
> 
> Also, I would give credit to where it's posted but that would mean giving out personal info of myself hahaha.
> 
> The format is similar to Facebook but I took liberties bc of word formatting reasons.
> 
> BBQ because it's the first thing that popped in my mind.
> 
> Character tags will be added along. Might change the rating later but I think I'll just mostly keep to swearing.

**Westeros University Confessions**

 

NOTHING IS FREE

I know you usually know me by my heartbreak poetry but this time, I bring something unusual: a rant! I don’t usually do this and I’m sorry for my less than stellar writing but I’m just so mad!

I was hungry af from a grueling finals exam. I went to one of the food stalls to grab a barbecue to eat out all my feelings.

 

Me: Excuse me. Two barbecues please.

*guy enters* (Seeing his calculator, I assume he’s from the neighboring engineering department.)

Guy: Me, too.

Seller: Here. *hands out barbecues*

I was about to grab it when he just snatches it. I just huffed it out even though I was already pissed because the seller was about to hand another two but HE SNATCHES THOSE AS WELL

Guy: Hey, thanks. That was good. *turns to me* Thanks, wench!

And he just… dashes off and I couldn’t even say a word to him because he disappeared. Finally, the seller hands me my barbecue and I pay. I receive my change and saw it was short.

Me: Excuse me, miss, but a barbecue only costs 3 copper stars.

Seller: Oh, I thought he was your boyfriend or something. He didn’t pay yet.

 

UGH! Seriously! I would’ve punched your pretty face had you not run off. I CANNOT DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH CRAP. I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF YOU OWNED THE FUCKING SCHOOL. YOU DON’T GET AWAY WITH SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. I HOPE THEY HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE FOR YOU IN SEVEN HELLS!!!!

 

\- Shy Maid

Like,Haha,Angry **You and 207 others**

 

 

 **Sansa Stark:** That guy was rude. Oh Shy Maid! I wish men would see what a truly beautiful person you are! :( :(

                        **Daenerys** likes this

 

 **Margaery Tyrell:** This is gonna be one of those love stories again, isn’t it?

                       **Bronn** and **Tyrion** likes this

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** *snorts* I got popcorn ready, **Tyrion Lannister**

 **Tyrion** likes this

 **Tyrion Lanninster:** *snickering* And booze!

                                **Margaery** and **Bronn** likes this

 **Margaery Tyrell:** Count me in, boys!

                                **Tyrion** and **Bronn** likes this

 

 **Daenerys Targaryen:** WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!! DOESN’T HE REALIZE NOT ALL THESE PEOPLE HAVE ENOUGH ALLOWANCE? AND SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE TO WORK FOR THEIR TUITION AND ALLOWANCE. JERK! KGIUFIFLIFUGOGIPIGIPBIB

                       **Arya** likes this.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs* This looked better on Word. It looks really shitty when I copy-pasted it ugh. It doesn't follow the spacing I did on word. Ugh. I hope it's still acceptable anyway. *crying*
> 
> DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ME THOUGH. I did make a second chapter already but that's about it. XD


	2. Re: NOTHING IS FREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In response to SHY MAID

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got home early so woohoo! Another chapter.

**Westeros University Confessions**

 

 

To Shy Maid

Re: NOTHING IS FREE

U are harsh, woman! U didn’t even finish the story. Ppl will think I have no honor.

I was late for my finals & I was in a rush. I forgot all my money & I cant take the exam on an empty stomach. U know how engineering students are w/ all the studying we had to do last night we tend to be forgetful.

Once I reached the classroom, I felt bad abt it. The next day, I found you and I actually gave you ten sticks of BBQ in return.

*hands on heart*

*dramatically falls on floor*

U cruel, cruel, wench! My reputation is ruined even tho I immediately atoned for my sin the next day. Y u do this my sweet maiden?

Im pretty sure u liked the gesture tho bc u blushed. ;)

Ur cute wen u blush BTW.

And u should be Ms. Sapphire now instead of Shy Maid bc ur eyes are astonishing.

Can I have ur num so I can explain to u?

\- BBQslayer

P.S. I know u like me. U called me pretty in the last post. *swooning*

P.P.S. Pfffttt… Air is free, you know. :P

Haha,Like,Love **You and 608 others**

 

 

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** **Margaery Tyrell Tyrion Lannister** Your bets pls.

                                Sad. **Tyrion** and **Margaery**

                **Tyrion Lannister:** Dammit!

                                                Haha. **Bronn**

                **Margaery Tyrell:** You are good.

                                                Haha. **Bronn**

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** **Margaery Tyrell**. Oh sweet summer child. You’d be surprised how much I learn from your grandmother in psych class.

 **Tysha:** May I ask what you were betting on? Just curious.

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** **Tysha** your bf and rose bouquet thought he was a good flirt. Ha! I can smell his terrible flirting skills even through pixels and wires.

Haha. **Tysha**

 **Tysha:** **Tyrion Lannister** You have met your match.

 **Tyrion Lannister:** I know. Damn!

 

 **Sansa Stark:** I take it back. SHY MAID… erherm sorry… MS. SAPPHIRE, YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR FOREVAAAHHH!!!! :3 Maidslayer? BBQSapphires? AGH THE FEEEEEELLLSSSS!!!!

                                 Angry. **Arya** and **Daenerys**

 **Arya Stark:** Seriously, Sans? He’s teasing her cause he’s an ass not cause he likes her. I DON’T THINK A GUY LIKES YOU IF HE TEASES U A LOT.

Sad. **Gendry**

 **Daenerys Targaryen:** UGH YOU DON’T LET THESE MEN STEP ALL OVER YOU. YOU ARE YOUR OWN WOMAN, SHY MAID!!!! DON’T LET THESE HONEYED WORDS GET TO YOU!!!

Love. **Arya**

 **Sansa Stark:** tsk tsk, Arya. When guys like someone, they tease u. Also… *snickering*

 **Sansa Stark:** STFU **Daenerys Targaryen**. WE DON’T NEED YOUR FEMINAZI IDEALS HERE.

 **Arya Stark:** Where is an eyeroll reaction when I need it. Ugh. You watch way too many rom coms, Sans. AND YAAASS TO **Daenerys Targaryen**

 **Jon Snow:** Not just guys, Sansa.

**Sansa Stark: Ygritte Wild**

**Ygritte Wild:** You know nothing. All of you.

 **Jon Snow:** WTF SANSAAA??????

                                               Haha.  **Sansa**

 **Ygritte Wild:** I know you like it when I tease you **Jon Snow**

Haha.  **Sansa**

 **Jon Snow:** Ygritte pls.

 **Ygritte Wild:** Especially in bed.

Angry. **Jon, Sansa, Arya**

 **Jon Snow:** YGRITTE!!!!!

 **Arya Stark:** I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT THAT

 **Sansa Stark:** I regret tagging her.

 **Ygritte Wild:** Hehhehehehehehhehhehehhehehehehehhehe

 **Daenerys Targaryen:** Well, if you want the patriarchy to get to you. FINE.

 **Sansa Stark:** Well, go cry to Jorah. You’re into your manslaves.

 **Ygritte Wild:** *eating popcorn*

 **Westeros University Confessions:** **Sansa Stark Daenerys Targaryen** I will have to ban you both if you’re not gonna quit it. –Spider

 **Ygritte Wild:** You’re no fun.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know where I'm going with this tbh (maybe except the "posts" themselves). I'm a little stuck on the comments part (I think it's what makes these REALLY funny). So if you can suggest a character to be put in and what they are commenting about, I'm gonna think about it and maybe I'll add it in. XD


	3. BBQ-slayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shy Maid and BBQ-slayer meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby's request is there... sorta. Still dunno where I'm going with this.

**Westeros University Confessions**

 

 

BBQ-slayer,

 

Yeah, you did “make up” for it but know that I DID NOT pay for the four barbecues you didn’t pay for. Besides, you just ran off after giving me the food. You didn’t even give me time to say thank you. I went to the stall and asked if you paid for the barbecues as well but she said you didn’t. She seemed like such a shy sweet girl and you took advantage of that meekness. What if the pay she received was cut off because of that?

 

Asking for my number? Pffft. Face me, jerk!

 

And am I a joke to you? I know that you know what I look like. Your “flirting” means nothing. If you are an avid reader of this page, you might have an idea of what I’ve gone through so, NO that shit is not gonna work on me.

 

\- Shy Maid NOT Ms. Sapphire

 

P.S. Yeah you’re pretty but that’s it.

 

P.P.S. Fine. I’ll give you that at least.

Haha,Love,Like **You and 404 others**

 

 

 

 **Margaery Tyrell:** Pay up, boys **Tyrion Lannister** **Bronn of the Blackwater**

                                Sad. **Bronn** and **Tyrion**

                **Bronn of the Blackwater:** I was so sure she was going to be into his crap flirting.

                                                Haha. **Margaery**

                **Margaery Tyrell:** Olenna Tyrell is MY grandma. *snaps fingers in 7 pointed star formation*

                                                Haha. **Bronn**

 **Tyrion Lannister:** Do you know how much I lost these past few days?

Haha. **Bronn** and **Margaery**

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** Shut up Lannister. You’re loaded.

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** Sorry **Tysha** No dates for a while.

 **Tysha:** It’s alright. We can just Netflix and chill :3 <3 <3

Love. **Tyrion**

 **Tyrion Lannister:** Stop draggin Tysha along our shit Bronn geez.

 **Tyrion Lannister:** Oh honey. I love how you’re so understanding.

Love. **Tysha**

 **Ygritte Wild:** What is this betting of yours and how do I take part in it?

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** PM me gorgeous ;)

 **Ygritte Wild:** Call me that again and I’ll punch you in your fuckin face, you cunt.

Haha. **Jon**

 **Jon Snow:** This is why you’re my girlfriend.

 

 **Arya Stark:** Ha! She’s not falling for his shit **Sansa Stark**

                                 Haha. **Daenerys**

 **Sansa Stark:** No way. That’s how it starts. THEY WILL BE TOGETHER I TELL YOU!!!

Haha. **Arya**

 **Arya Stark:** Don’t delude yourself Sansa.

 **Daenerys Targaryen:** DIDJA SEE THAT?? HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!! That’s what I’m talking about! YOU GO GIRL!!! *clapping*

Angry. **Sansa**

 **Sansa Stark: Gendry Waters** Arya doesn’t believe me. :(

 **Arya Stark:** What the hell are you drawing Gendry in here for?

 **Sansa Stark:** He teases you and he likes you.

 **Arya Stark:** What are you talking about? I’m his friend. He’s annoying but I love him anyway.

 **Sansa Stark:** Screencapping this.

 **Gendry Waters:** What the actual fuck Sansa. I don’t wanna die an early grave.

 **Sansa Stark:** *raises eyebrow* *whistles innocently*

Angry. **Gendry** and **Arya**

 **Sansa Stark:** Your reactions are cute.

                 **Arya Stark:** Seriously, Sansa?

 **Gendry Waters:** Sansa pls.

 **Eddard Stark:** Arya Stark what is the meaning of this? Are you dating this boy?

Haha. **Arya**

 **Eddard Stark:** Catelyn Stark come see this.

Haha. **Arya**

 **Eddard Stark:** You girls should be more careful about your online posts.

Haha. **Arya**

 **Sansa Stark:** How did he even find us?

 **Gendry Waters:** It’s not what you think, Mr. **Eddard Stark**. Great. Just great. Thank YOU Sansa!

 **Arya Stark:** Probably because you shared this post, dummy.

 **Arya Stark:** By dummy, I meant **Sansa Stark.** Don’t worry though dummy2 (that’s you, **Gendry Waters** ), dad never checks his notifications and he often forgets what he comments on because Sansa posts so much. I mean he doesn’t even know how to tag mom.

 **Daenerys Targaryen:** **Arya Stark** You sister is DELUSIONAL.

                                                Haha. **Arya**

 **Sansa Stark:** I’m not even gonna fight you. I don’t wanna be banned.

 

 **Cersei Lannister:** Please like my page. ;* ----> **Queen Cerrrssseeei Lannisterrrr**

                                Haha. **Bronn**   **Tyrion Maragery**

 **Cersei Lannister:** What are you laughing about  **Tyrion Lannister Bronn of the Blackwater Margaery Tyrell**?

                                Haha.  **Tyrion Margaery Bronn**

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm gonna add dumb things that I find in comments.


	4. Ms. Sexy Sapphire Then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drops this*  
> Idek anymore T-T hahahahaah

**Westeros University Confessions**

 

Ms. Sexy Sapphire Then?

I know. I ran off. U just looked at me & ur eyes wer just mesmerizing & it rather overwhelmed me.The things u do 2 me. :) *swooooniiiiing*

U don’t believe me tho *sighs* I don’t blame u.

Anyway can I still have ur num? So u can accompany me to pay? I didn’t know u didn’t pay for it. I intend to pay my debts. :) Please accompany me. Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!

BBQ-slayer

Love.Like.Haha **You and 305 others.**

**Theon Greyjoy:** 1st comment

                                Haha. **Robb**

 

 **Daenerys Targaryen:** PERSISTENT MUCH! UGH

                                Angry. **Sansa**

 **Sansa Stark:** STFU IT’S TRUE LOVE!!!!!!!!!

                **Sansa Stark: Arya Stark** can finally attest to his methods. Right **Gendry Waters**

                **Gendry Waters:** Sansa pls. I don’t want your dad seeing this.

                **Arya Stark:** I do NOT want to have to endure that lecture mom and dad gave me… AGAIN.

                **Daenerys Targaryen:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN **Arya Stark**? HAVE YOU GONE TO THE DARK SIDE NOW?

                **Sansa Stark:** Muahahahaahha. She has seen the error of her ways, Daenerys.

                **Arya Stark:** Seriously. This rivalry between you both is getting ridiculous. STOP DRAGGING ME INTO YOUR SHIT.

                **Robb Stark:** *eating popcorn* Stop ruining my fun **Arya Stark** or I’ll tell mom and dad.

                **Arya Stark:** You wouldn’t DARE.

                **Westeros University Confessions:** Last warning **Sansa Stark Daenerys Targaryen** -3ER

 

 **Tyrion Lannister: Bronn of the Blackwater Margaery Tyrell Ygritte Wild Asha Greyjoy Oberyn Martell Ellaria Sand** HA! You know what to do.

                                Angry. **Bronn Margaery** Wow. **Ygritte Asha Ellaria** Haha. **Oberyn**

 **Oberyn Martell:** Impressive Lannister.

                **Ygritte Wild:** FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! How?????

                **Bronn of the Blackwater:** I really have no idea.

                **Tyrion Lannister:** **Tysha**. Dornish later, babe. ;)

 **Margaery Tyrell:**  Damn. I was so sure he was giving up and going to say a goodbye. He’s persistent. AAAAGHHH!!! I told dad I needed the money to buy some school thing. I’m so dead x.x

 **Asha Greyjoy:** Same. But at least your dad is nice **Margaery Tyrell** Mines a bitch

 **Ellaria Sand:** Darling **Oberyn Martell** I love you but I’m leaving you for Tyrion.

 **Oberyn Martell:** My sweetling **Ellaria Sand** why do you hurt me this way. Shall I remind you why you love me later. ;)

Love. **Ellaria**

 **Asha Greyjoy:** **Oberyn Martell Ellaria Sand** I need a good fuck before dad gonna fuck me up. Can I join you later?

Love. **Oberyn Ellaria**

 **Ellaria Sand:** Any time. ;)

 **Oberyn Martell:** Sure.

 **Margaery Tyrell:** **Oberyn Martell Ellaria Sand Asha Greyjoy** Me too please T-T

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** I feel so left out, but I prefer my orgies without men so you kids have fun.

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** Poor **Tyrion Lannister**. You sure your girlfriend isn’t into this kink?

Angry. **Tyrion Shae**

 **Tyrion Lannister:** Fuck off!

Love. **Tysha**

 **Ygritte Wild:** **Jon Snow**

Angry. **Jon**

 **Jon Snow:** WHAT THE FUCK YGRITTE???

 **Jon Snow:** I cannot unsee.

 **Ygritte Wild:** It always amuses me how you freak out over things like this even though I’ve already ;)

 **Bronn of the Blackwater:** **Ygritte** shit woman are you telling me you deflowered your little bastard?

 **Tyrion Lannister:** Whoop whoop congrats on popping his cherry.

 **Jon Snow:** I don’t even know why I’m friends with any of you.

 

 **Shireen Baratheon:** OH NO! What if Ms. Sapphire never replies. :(

                                Sad. **Gilly**

                **Gilly Craster:** My OTP

                **Sansa Stark:** lksgklsdgklehehtwe Someone to share my feels. X38

 **Sansa Stark:** Don’t worry girls. Keep faith.

**Sansa Stark: #TeamSapphireSlayer**

Love. **Shireen Gilly**

**Queen Cerrrssseeei Lannisterrrr:** Check out my new make-up page ------- > **Queen Lioness Make-up Tutorials ;* <3 <3**

Love. **Melara** Haha. **Bronn Tyrion Asha and 4 others**

 **Melara Heatherspoon:** A follow for a follow? ;* ------------- >   **Queen Mel :3 ^3^**

Angry. **Cersei**

 **Queen Cerrrssseeei Lannisterrrr:** Bitch your page looks like a rip off of mine. Fuck off!

                 **Westeros University Confessions:** This is a warning. You will be banned for that  **Cersei Lannister**  -3ER

 

 **Walda Frey:** Want to make money just by sitting down. All you need is internet. PM me for details. :)

 

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